IT GETS REAL...
I've been very lucky. HOMESCHOOL REUNION got accepted twice before I got my first refusal. That's a great feeling. Also, I've been lucky enough to have had a great response from people I respect. But because I am who I am (and I'm sure many of you know what I mean by this), once I started getting the "no, thank yous," a bit of negative judgement starts creeping in. No matter how much you respect the people who have said nice things, "perhaps," you think, "the people who are refusing the movie in festivals 'know more' or are 'seeing through' this charade called 'I am a director.'"
Which is balgona, of course, but you know what they say about us artistic types. ... No, not that. I mean about the insecurity. I've gotten a lot of great feedback about the movie, but in just a few days I got rejected by the LOS ANGELES LEFT OFF FESTIVAL and QUEEN CITY FESTIVAL in Baltimore - which is a shame, since I wanted it to play in the town where much of my family is. Because, really, I want to use festivals as an excuse to travel. Especially to Ireland. Where I shall meet my wife. (DO YOU HEAR ME, KERRY FILM FESTIVAL!? MAKE THIS HAPPEN!)
Where was I? Right:
I started out as an actor, and the very first thing people will tell you (hopefully after "you're really good!" or "hurrah!") is "it's a hard life," "you'll need to have two jobs," "you won't make money." This is similar to the responses for all artistic endeavors, I imagine. Which sucks, because I don't believe that anymore. Well, no, I DO, and that's what I'm trying to change. I highly doubt that anyone has ever consistently told a person "Ooo, have you thought about NOT being a fireman? I mean, that's a hard job and you can't make a living." But what if they did? What if tons of people habitually told people year after year that getting a job as a fireman would be really hard? I'll bet that fewer people would get jobs as firemen. Seriously. I know, I know, there's the LOGIC of "firemen are necessary and needed everywhere" and that's "not true" for artists. But that's not the point. The point is that if you tell someone for ten plus years that something is going to be hard, they believe you, and make things hard for themselves. We live in a society that doesn't value art. Oh, it values SOME art, but only the kind that is marketed correctly.
My point is that yes, rejection is a big part of being an actor and of being an artist, but if we weren't REMINDED of it so damn often, would we maybe start out at least a little more optimistic and steeled against rejection? If HOMESCHOOL doesn't get into a single film festival, am I going to stop directing? Hell no. So it shouldn't actually matter to me whether we get into any festivals or not. I'll just move on and do the next thing anyway.
But, yeah, that's not the case. I do care. I WANT to have the festival experience of having a project out there. I WANT it to lead to new contacts and more work. I WANT people to laugh or say "Awww" and have a positive reaction. Hell, I want people to be offended, as long as they have a reaction to it that isn't a rash or contagious.
We're supposed to find out about five festivals in the next month: KERRY FILM FESTIVAL in Ireland, NEW YORK NO LIMITS in NYC, CARMEL INTERNATIONAL in Carmel, CA (for which I need to make a BluRay and how so I do that?), BEND FILM in Oregon, and AUSTIN FILM FEST in Texas. (I didn't submit to SXSW - see earlier posts.) Any one of those would be fantastic. Austin is an amazing city, Carmel is supposed to be beautiful (and it's a road trip instead of a flight), New York is a no-brainer, Oregon would be fun and don't even get me started on Ireland..... that would cost like way more and it's in late October, but wow that would be amazing.
Three out of thirty is nothing. If we make it into five I'll be happy.
Which is balgona, of course, but you know what they say about us artistic types. ... No, not that. I mean about the insecurity. I've gotten a lot of great feedback about the movie, but in just a few days I got rejected by the LOS ANGELES LEFT OFF FESTIVAL and QUEEN CITY FESTIVAL in Baltimore - which is a shame, since I wanted it to play in the town where much of my family is. Because, really, I want to use festivals as an excuse to travel. Especially to Ireland. Where I shall meet my wife. (DO YOU HEAR ME, KERRY FILM FESTIVAL!? MAKE THIS HAPPEN!)
Where was I? Right:
I started out as an actor, and the very first thing people will tell you (hopefully after "you're really good!" or "hurrah!") is "it's a hard life," "you'll need to have two jobs," "you won't make money." This is similar to the responses for all artistic endeavors, I imagine. Which sucks, because I don't believe that anymore. Well, no, I DO, and that's what I'm trying to change. I highly doubt that anyone has ever consistently told a person "Ooo, have you thought about NOT being a fireman? I mean, that's a hard job and you can't make a living." But what if they did? What if tons of people habitually told people year after year that getting a job as a fireman would be really hard? I'll bet that fewer people would get jobs as firemen. Seriously. I know, I know, there's the LOGIC of "firemen are necessary and needed everywhere" and that's "not true" for artists. But that's not the point. The point is that if you tell someone for ten plus years that something is going to be hard, they believe you, and make things hard for themselves. We live in a society that doesn't value art. Oh, it values SOME art, but only the kind that is marketed correctly.
My point is that yes, rejection is a big part of being an actor and of being an artist, but if we weren't REMINDED of it so damn often, would we maybe start out at least a little more optimistic and steeled against rejection? If HOMESCHOOL doesn't get into a single film festival, am I going to stop directing? Hell no. So it shouldn't actually matter to me whether we get into any festivals or not. I'll just move on and do the next thing anyway.
But, yeah, that's not the case. I do care. I WANT to have the festival experience of having a project out there. I WANT it to lead to new contacts and more work. I WANT people to laugh or say "Awww" and have a positive reaction. Hell, I want people to be offended, as long as they have a reaction to it that isn't a rash or contagious.
We're supposed to find out about five festivals in the next month: KERRY FILM FESTIVAL in Ireland, NEW YORK NO LIMITS in NYC, CARMEL INTERNATIONAL in Carmel, CA (for which I need to make a BluRay and how so I do that?), BEND FILM in Oregon, and AUSTIN FILM FEST in Texas. (I didn't submit to SXSW - see earlier posts.) Any one of those would be fantastic. Austin is an amazing city, Carmel is supposed to be beautiful (and it's a road trip instead of a flight), New York is a no-brainer, Oregon would be fun and don't even get me started on Ireland..... that would cost like way more and it's in late October, but wow that would be amazing.
Three out of thirty is nothing. If we make it into five I'll be happy.
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